The Confidence Paradox
If you're not confident, you won't sell your script. If you are, you might not consider better alternatives to your choices. Confidence in writing is a huge paradox. Let's chew on this a minute!
Editing with Mental Leaps and Bounds
I mentioned recently how I was tackling a big edit, and the process I take to do that.
Now I’m on the other side of that big challenge, and I realize I left you shortchanged. These edits aren’t just the work involved to manage your scenes and changes.
It’s a mental battle. A nasty one.
First, my self doubt kicked in hard. Actually, it tried to kick me hard. I wouldn’t have to do these edits if I got it right the first time. I should have seen these notes coming. Maybe this script just sucks. Maybe I’m too dumb.
I refuse to let this seep in. I immediately counter these thoughts with confident ones; honest ones. In early drafts of this script, I had a buy in problem for a character. I tried a version that removed or danced around this issue, but it created a far worse problem: I took away the reader’s context.
So I took on the task of solving both problems. Problems that were both entirely my fault, and within my control. My draft didn’t work right, BUT I was closer to solving both problems than ever before.
So I reminded myself of that and soldiered on.
Big edits are brutal. I don’t know about you, but they kick my ass. New ideas or scenes? Stupid. Dialogue? Derivative garbage. The flow / pace / efficacy of the changes? A steaming turd.
[Photo Redacted lol]
Ugh. I feel all these things so distinctly. It’s worth bringing this up though, because these thoughts are not accurate. It’s resistance. It’s a lie.
But therein lies the paradox: you SHOULD listen if your instincts tell you something is wrong. You SHOULD question your choices and analyze why everything works.
But not because your insulting, rude, intrusive thoughts told you to. You should do those things because you’re a confident, brilliant human who knows their shit.
You can’t come at your writing from a place of insecurity. You have to come at it confidently.
Big edits really highlight this paradox well, but it goes beyond the edit.
Pitch Perfect
Whether or not your script is excellent, there’s no sense pitching without having perfect confidence in your work.
But there’s two problems with that.
You don’t want to come across as an arrogant bastard.
You don’t want to win yourself a read when the script isn’t ready.
Therefore, you have a confidence paradox. You must go in with full confidence, but you must also be open to feedback. I’ve met with producers who want me to read their work, but don’t care about my potential feedback at all. Big mistake! My feedback is valuable. I’ve gotten very good at it. This is why I’m offering to read your scripts for the price of a simple 30 second favour. Share my work and let me know, and I’ll put you in a draw for a script read and notes consultation from me! Three will be given away this season!
Anyway, back to the business at hand.
How do we rectify these two juxtaposed lines of thinking? Well, I was very surprised the answer came to me in the same big, murky, ugly edit I just completed.
Be confident you can fix any problem that comes your way. Now you are confident AND open to feedback.
So there you go. Easy enough to wrap your head around. But… How do you gain confidence? What if you don’t feel confident?
Don’t fake it. That’s never a bad idea.
You build confidence the same way you ascertain whether your script is working: you do your homework and ask intelligent people.
You Will Fail, Take Solace
Another paradox in confidence is one you can create yourself, and use to your advantage. You’re not going to succeed in every pitch you do. Hell, you’ll succeed in very very few. Of course, this depends greatly on how you measure success.
But this thought is glorious, isn’t it? Takes the pressure right off. If you’re pitching because you want to practice, and you mentally put zero stakes on the outcome… What are you worried about?
Nothing. You can pitch with confidence.
Mental Health is Your Health
Real talk. Listen up. I think my mental health is pretty averagely okay. It’s hard to say without any quantifiable data, and that’s an impossibly vague statement.
I say this because I deeply feel the mental health battles. I talk about them so you know that these are things we all face.
I have a lot of tools in place to assist me. Minimal social media exposure aimed at my emotional reactions. Great sleep hygiene. A few people I can talk to. I’m a lucky guy. If you need help, if these mental battles leave you more broken than bruised, this is your call to action. Keep working on you. You’re worth it, and this is a very hard gig. You need every tool in the box.
So much mental health is meeting the world and the situation where it is, rather than where you feel it should be. That was a lesson hard learned for me, but brought me major avenues to peace.
That’s really what this paradox is all about. You grow confidence through healthy introspection, analysis, and practice. Confidence doesn’t need to always feel good. Doubts, fears, anxiety, those emotions are not evidence of a lack of confidence; they’re tests of your confidence. They’re resistance. They’re part of the unending trial of being a great writer.
So go in with confidence that, even if you have no idea what you’re doing, you CAN ABSOLUTELY figure it out. Even if it’s super difficult. You’re awesome. You got this.
And happy writing!
I loooove this! I call my critic Judy, and sometimes she is really loud. Dealing with feedback can be rough, but it's also an opportunity to learn and grow. When Judy gets loud, I get loud back. She doesn't get the final say anymore. This was such a great blog, Law. Thank you! I just loved how you brought mental health into the conversation—so important.