Who are You?
If your answer is forgettable, then I have some bad news. So how do we answer this question?
This Question Should be EASY
It galls me whenever I get asked this, and I give some response that could be said by anyone. Who am I?
Writers, my life is rarely boring. When I’m not hard at work, I’m often causing chaos wherever I go (always with love), and making memories I’m sure people shake their heads at in disbelief.
Over the holidays, I downloaded Carole Kirschner’s free guide on networking. Then, to be thorough, I bought her book on breaking into Hollywood.
Carole has very simple, very intelligent networking advice for anyone looking to break into the industry.
Just tell them who you are.
But it comes with a caveat: don’t be boring. Boring is sin number one, and Hollywood doesn’t abide it one bit.
So let’s get to work.
Logline Time!
Are you great at loglines? Because this time we’re going to think about one for you. No, not your script. You as a person. This is how you’ll answer the question posed above.
Like a script logline, this requires all the elements. Tom Vaughan has a great and simple logline course that will serve you well here.
Well actually, this will be a bit different. It has to be. If your logline sets up an antagonist, I’m going to be concerned about you.
I’m a screenwriter. After getting rejected 1,651 times from the Kamloops Everyone Wins Screenwriting Contest, I vowed to write a movie that grosses a billion in the domestic box office before 2027. This is the final year, and we need to go FAST. Help me teach Karen, the woman who runs the contest, that she’s wrong about me. I’m so desperate.
See? This is ridiculous. Though fun fact, I have entered a short film into a festival where everyone was ‘supposed to have fun,’ for the sake of community during covid, and managed to get rejected, so there’s that.
The key aspect we’re using in our loglines is setting up a status quo and a decision that changes everything: the decision to become a screenwriter.
My name is Lawrence Davidson. I ran a dodgeball league in Kamloops, and it was all going swell, until one day The Fire Nation attacked, and I knew I just had to tell that story. Then, ten years into my screenwriting journey, I realized someone beat me to it by a mile. Thanks, Airbender team.
Can you tell I’m currently writing a family friendly movie? I’m SILLY today! This is pointing the way to go, though. Why did I become a screenwriter? Well, for one, my brain requires puzzles to chew on. I grew up in a small town, and despite buying a home, being offered a professional management job where I worked, and running sports rec leagues, I was severely bored. There’s a major part of my brain that craves the challenge and beauty, the adventure and romanticism, to thrill of writing that can’t be forgotten once you’ve tasted it. The part of my brain that, when I can’t write, I use to drive my wife absolutely fucking up the wall with. So let’s try this seriously.
By my mid twenties, I had my life together. A home, a career, a great social circle, but I wasn’t happy, because I wasn’t fulfilling my calling: to write, and to entertain. Thanks to a series of small events that will make you believe in fate, I decided to throw all my current successes into the wind and become a screenwriter. Less than six months later, I left everything behind.
Now that’s a cool logline. Status quo, a lot of information about me, and a decision to change.
Let’s Level Up w/ a Party Pitch
Okay, now that you’ve got a logline figured out (if you don’t, that’s okay. Just use mine) (that was a joke; stay the fuck away from my logline) let’s get into a more challenging place to talk about yourself. You’re at a party. You don’t know anyone, so you knock a few back (don’t get drunk, that never helps anyone) and decide to introduce yourself to people.
What’s a true story that can you tell them that’s memorable about you, and why you do what you do?
Carole called this your A-story (like the A-story on a television plot). It’s a very clever and simple concept. You know how to structure a story. Tell us one about you. I have some that I guarantee will be memorable, but I don’t love the idea of cementing those in writing, so let’s see what we can come up with instead.
In case you’ve never watched a TV show before, here’s the structure:
Beginning
Middle
End
That was supremely unhelpful. Let me try that again.
There are two things you need for an A-plot. You need an INCITING INCIDENT and a TRANSFORMATION. And it needs to be YOU that transformed. I’ve also heard this called our personal ‘movie moment’ once, which I thought was interesting.
This is the kind of story you want in your back pocket, so when someone cool wants to know about you, you stick in their head past the hangover.
So there I was, in the middle of the orgy, but I wasn’t paying attention. I wasn’t really there. I was thinking about much more important things, like what the difference was between (O.C. Off Camera) and (O.S. Off Screen) was in Final Draft. So I packed my bag and moved to Hollywood. It was only years later that I discovered the answer was available globally on the Scriptnotes Podcast, but by that time, I had already made billions writing Home Alone 36: There Will be Blood.
… I’m as confused as you are about what this sample was supposed to teach us. Whatever I got into this morning, it’s clearly having an effect. But I could argue that this goofy A-story has the elements I’m talking about.
If you’re sitting around, wondering what to talk about, and nothing comes to mind, Carole has great advice for you: ask your friends and family. Maybe they’ll say something like, “Tell them about the time you ate the toad.” As crazy as this sounds, if you told me you were eating toads and chose to write movies instead, I’d first off never forget it, and second off wonder if the toads were a smarter decision.
Let’s take a more serious crack at this, to help you with yours.
I wasn’t kidding about running a dodgeball league. I was on a great team filled with great people, and we were good at what we did. I fucking loved that game, until one player wearing bad shoes slipped on his own sweat, and broke his leg. The ensuing lawsuit shut the league down. Dodgeball became an uninsurable sport in Kamloops. Without that thrilling distraction, I was bereft and aimless.
One day my mom told me about a job fair at the university. I had a moment, so I drove over. I parked, and as I went to pay, a $5 bill landed on my shoe. The parking lot was empty. This came out of nowhere. Talk about a sign! I told you this would make you question whether fate is real or not. I met some teachers for a screenwriting institution, and by the end of the day I had decided. I was going to move to Vancouver and become a screenwriter.
Not bad. And this time it’s all true. Remember: don’t lie. Lying will make people distrust you, and there’s a LOT of writers they DO trust who they can hire instead of you.
Have More in Your Back Pocket
One more thing to cover: anecdotes! You should have some cool stories to tell people. Some anecdotes you can mention that showcase who you are as a person. Ideally you want to share stories that showcase some of your skills in some unique way.
I once walked the red carpet with Disney’s Cinderella on the Disney Magic cruise ship. We shared the first dance, a waltz.
That’s a great anecdote. How did I end up in that position? Do I mean someone dressed as Cinderella? (Nope!) Do I know how to waltz? Tell me more.
Come up with your own. They don’t have to be as magical as waltzing with a Disney princess at a red carpet event. It could be about the time you alphabetized your entire workplace database, or about how you volunteered teaching children to read good, and do other things good too.
What’s the difference between that and bragging? The difference is you’re going to share this anecdote as a story. A brag just talks about you and your accomplishments. A story talks about an experience you had.
One time I was on a yacht and downed a full glass of red wine, surrounded by people in tuxedos, so I wouldn’t spill a drop. You know what that shows? Creativity under pressure, and that I can handle red wine and be a bit silly, dare I say human, and make new friends along the way. I’m sharing quick versions of these anecdotes, but rather than brag that I was partying on a yacht, I’m humanizing myself by saying I made a faux pas on a yacht (don’t order red wine).
There you go. Your homework is to write down your personal logline, your personal A-story, and several anecdotes. You definitely want to get Carole’s free guide if this advice was helpful. Her book was geared toward breaking into Hollywood from a broad sense, not screenwriter specific, but she does outline the path for screenwriters as well. You know the path. Write one SERIOUSLY AMAZING script, then do it again.
This is great advice for anyone looking to make an impression anywhere they go. Drop a cool anecdote in the comments, I’d love to hear what you’re up to!
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See you next week!
On your note about 'boring' is a quote about Hollywood I learned and find helpful, "Don't be boring or desperate." But I've tweaked it for personal reasons, "Don't be boring, desperate or a jerk."
I'm a Canadian Mama living the USA who likes to kick box. I've been a DJ and a costumer and once in LA took home food that Tom Green gave me from his actual fridge. Is this a good start?